just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
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