Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
