:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
