Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
