is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
