what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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