i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
