she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
