Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
