I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
