she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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