i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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