I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
