Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
