I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
