You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
