I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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