You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
