Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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