We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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