I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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