i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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