Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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