im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
