there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
