i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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