You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
When are your genitals available?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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