i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
