Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
