So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
