Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
