did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Can I color on your dick again?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
