White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
