Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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