omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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