That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
