i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
