No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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