I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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