I want to have your abortion
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You've changed since you got that strap on
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
