Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
