come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize