Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
