smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
