HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
