I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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