Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
