I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I am naked and annoyed.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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