She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
