Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
