the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
