you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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