someone owes me an orgasm
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
