this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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