Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
it glows. i had to have it.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
