how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
