Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
