sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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