Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
