im drinking this country out of the recession.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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