how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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