I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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