im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
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