once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
