There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
