Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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