I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
