In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
