He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
