I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
